Chapter Five Mind Mapping

Domestic Violence

Domestic Violence.

The role of women in the society all over the world cannot be underestimated. Apart from giving birth and caring for children, they see it as a duty to satisfy their husbands sexually, emotionally, politically, socially, financially and otherwise. Having seen the contribution of women in the society, it baffles me to see that women are been humiliated and intimidated by their male counterparts in some societies. Women have been refrained from getting formal education, participating in politics in some Muslim societies, where they are kept in Purdah. In some parts of West Africa, women are subjected to inhuman widow hood practices and female genital mutilation [circumcision; that open these girls to genital infections].

Although, feminist movement has helped to liberate women from the above unfair treatments in recent years, but one still remains a puzzle and has spread all over the world like wild fire- Domestic Violence.

Have you ever witnessed a situation where a man beats a woman mercilessly, a child crying helplessly and everything is out of control? That is domestic violence in the form of battering. Abuse is a pattern of coercive controls that one person exercises over another. Battering includes the use of physical and sexual violence, threats and intimidation on a partner.

Domestic Violence and emotional Abuse are behaviors used by one person in a relationship to control the other. Partners may be married or not married, heterosexual, gay or lesbian. Living together, separated or dating. [Jackson, 2007].

Domestic violence and abuse are inseparable as both complement each other. Domestic violence can be carried out in the following manners of abuse such as; stopping a partner from mentioning the name of a particular person/persons, keeping a partner from contacting his/her family or friends, withholding money from a partner, stopping a partner from getting or keeping a job, threatening or physically harming a partner, sexual assault, stalking and intimidation.

There may be different causes of domestic violence, but alcohol use, drug use and stress or mental illness do not cause domestic violence, though they may go along with domestic violence, but they do not cause the violence but they can accelerate violence, as offenders often use these as excuses for their violence.[Michigan Judicial Institute,1998].

Domestic Violence can happen to anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion, culture or gender. Domestic Violence affects everyone. [About 1 in 3 American women have been physically or sexually abused by a husband or boyfriend at some point in their lives [Commonwealth Funds, 1998]

Although both men and women can be abused, most victims are women. Children in the home where there is domestic violence are more likely to be abused or neglected. Most Children in these homes know about the violence, even if a child is not physically harmed, they may have emotional and behavior problems.

Spokeswoman Winfrey Oprah, speaking on the Rihanna /Chris Brown Domestic violence issue says;
‘’ Men who witness domestic violence are more than likely to commit abuse’’
Forty percent to sixty percent of men who abuse women also abuse children [American Psychological Association, Violence and Family, 1998

It beats my imagination to see these women who are been abused, still sleeping under the same roof with the man who beats them regularly. Often I ask myself, if it were that bad,’ why wouldn’t she just leave?

There are many reasons why women may not leave-may be because of their kids-but not leaving does not mean that the situation is okay or that the victim wants to be abused. Leaving can be dangerous [some women might commit suicide] The most dangerous time for a woman who is being abused is when she tries to leave [Dutton and Golant, 1995]

Domestic violence should not happen to anyone but even when it does, always remember that you are not alone, it is not your fault and help is available as there are free consultation services for victims of domestic violence, but first dial 911 for help.












References;
1. Jackson, Nicky Ali. Encyclopedia of Domestic Violence, n.p. New York.2007
2. Dutton, Donald. G .Rethinking Domestic Violence.Canada; UBC Press, 2006
3. Commonwealth Fund. Healthy Concerns. Across a woman’s Life Span; Survey of Women’s Health; 1998
4.’Larry King Live; Talk on Abuse.CNN.12 March, 2009.
5. Michigan Judicial Institute, Domestic Violence; Bench Book pg1.6-1.7.1998
6. Dutton, Golant. K.The Batterer; A Psychological Profile; Basic Books 1995

My Presentation On Narrative Essay

My Memorable Childhood Experience

It was a beautiful Saturday morning and my mother has gone to the hospital where she works. My father hardly spends time with us because he works in an oil company where he goes off-shore for months and only visits us only when he is on vacation. We were a happy family blessed with three children; I was the eldest and a set of male twins; Ken and Ben. We lived in the outskirt of Benin, in an area that was crowded and fairly developed at that time. Though our house was not far from the town, one feature stroked my imagination; the moat. Daddy always says he likes the beauty of the moat which was the reason behind him owning a house in such a suburban town. It was also rumored that sometime ago when it rained heavily, houses and children flows through the moat. As a child, I thought it was a fairy tale, though our street had large pot holes that could cause erosion, children in the neighborhood usually play in these holes whenever it rains.

On this fateful day, I was busy with my household chores; sweeping the floors, doing some laundry and keeping an eye on my younger brothers. Though I was twelve years old, and two times older than my twin brothers, it was my duty to care for them, as stated in my culture since I was as the first child and been a girl-child. It had not rained for sometime since we were in the dry season but this particular day, it became cloudy, windy and stormy. At this time, my brothers were already outside playing soccer with their friends. It started to rain, so I decided to go outside and bring them in since mum never allows us to play outside whenever it rains so that we do not contact pneumonia.

From a distance, I could see my brothers playing happily in the rain, some of their friends had already taken off their shirts and were very excited as my brothers. Approaching them, I found out that the girls were not left out in the fun. I spotted my friend Amy. She immediately called out on me. I reluctantly joined in the fun, forgetting my mission. It rained heavily that day and we all played like we have never done before, we ran from one point to the other, overwhelmed by the momentary drops of the rain, accompanied by thunder. It rained for about forty-five minutes. At last, it stopped raining and my senses returned. I looked around me and behold I was two streets away from my house and the children present were few. Perhaps the others might have gone home I thought.

Immediately, I started looking for my brothers, luckily for me, I found Ken but where on earth is Ben? I felt as if my heart were pierced by an arrow. I was totally soaked by the rain but was not bothered. Where is my brother? I kept asking myself. What do I tell my mother? These questions kept echoing in my brain. We searched for him for about two hours, asking our friends, but none seem to know his whereabout. Finally, we went home, thinking he will be home, but did not find him. My mother arrived and I narrated the story to her in tears. Could he be dead? Who knows? Our neighbor accompanied her to the nearby moat to see if they would find my brothers body they searched for about twenty-five minutes, but they found nothing. My mother started weeping that her son is dead. Ben and I also joined her in crying that we will never see our brother again. It was my entire fault, I kept thinking. Our neighbor suggested we inform the police.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. A man entered and behold -- there was my brother. The man quickly told how my brother came to their home in the company of his sons. Since they were wet, he made them take a bath, change their clothes and eat before bringing him home, since he hardly knew the name of his street..

From that day I never went out or allowed my brothers to go out whenever it rained. I thanked God and promised myself never to disobey my parents again