Domestic Violence

Domestic Violence.

The role of women in the society all over the world cannot be underestimated. Apart from giving birth and caring for children, they see it as a duty to satisfy their husbands sexually, emotionally, politically, socially, financially and otherwise. Having seen the contribution of women in the society, it baffles me to see that women are been humiliated and intimidated by their male counterparts in some societies. Women have been refrained from getting formal education, participating in politics in some Muslim societies, where they are kept in Purdah. In some parts of West Africa, women are subjected to inhuman widow hood practices and female genital mutilation [circumcision; that open these girls to genital infections].

Although, feminist movement has helped to liberate women from the above unfair treatments in recent years, but one still remains a puzzle and has spread all over the world like wild fire- Domestic Violence.

Have you ever witnessed a situation where a man beats a woman mercilessly, a child crying helplessly and everything is out of control? That is domestic violence in the form of battering. Abuse is a pattern of coercive controls that one person exercises over another. Battering includes the use of physical and sexual violence, threats and intimidation on a partner.

Domestic Violence and emotional Abuse are behaviors used by one person in a relationship to control the other. Partners may be married or not married, heterosexual, gay or lesbian. Living together, separated or dating. [Jackson, 2007].

Domestic violence and abuse are inseparable as both complement each other. Domestic violence can be carried out in the following manners of abuse such as; stopping a partner from mentioning the name of a particular person/persons, keeping a partner from contacting his/her family or friends, withholding money from a partner, stopping a partner from getting or keeping a job, threatening or physically harming a partner, sexual assault, stalking and intimidation.

There may be different causes of domestic violence, but alcohol use, drug use and stress or mental illness do not cause domestic violence, though they may go along with domestic violence, but they do not cause the violence but they can accelerate violence, as offenders often use these as excuses for their violence.[Michigan Judicial Institute,1998].

Domestic Violence can happen to anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion, culture or gender. Domestic Violence affects everyone. [About 1 in 3 American women have been physically or sexually abused by a husband or boyfriend at some point in their lives [Commonwealth Funds, 1998]

Although both men and women can be abused, most victims are women. Children in the home where there is domestic violence are more likely to be abused or neglected. Most Children in these homes know about the violence, even if a child is not physically harmed, they may have emotional and behavior problems.

Spokeswoman Winfrey Oprah, speaking on the Rihanna /Chris Brown Domestic violence issue says;
‘’ Men who witness domestic violence are more than likely to commit abuse’’
Forty percent to sixty percent of men who abuse women also abuse children [American Psychological Association, Violence and Family, 1998

It beats my imagination to see these women who are been abused, still sleeping under the same roof with the man who beats them regularly. Often I ask myself, if it were that bad,’ why wouldn’t she just leave?

There are many reasons why women may not leave-may be because of their kids-but not leaving does not mean that the situation is okay or that the victim wants to be abused. Leaving can be dangerous [some women might commit suicide] The most dangerous time for a woman who is being abused is when she tries to leave [Dutton and Golant, 1995]

Domestic violence should not happen to anyone but even when it does, always remember that you are not alone, it is not your fault and help is available as there are free consultation services for victims of domestic violence, but first dial 911 for help.












References;
1. Jackson, Nicky Ali. Encyclopedia of Domestic Violence, n.p. New York.2007
2. Dutton, Donald. G .Rethinking Domestic Violence.Canada; UBC Press, 2006
3. Commonwealth Fund. Healthy Concerns. Across a woman’s Life Span; Survey of Women’s Health; 1998
4.’Larry King Live; Talk on Abuse.CNN.12 March, 2009.
5. Michigan Judicial Institute, Domestic Violence; Bench Book pg1.6-1.7.1998
6. Dutton, Golant. K.The Batterer; A Psychological Profile; Basic Books 1995